Tips for Parenting Toddlers

As you bathe and potty train your toddler begin (or continue) to teach them accurate names for body parts – all of them! If you can avoid names for body parts like “Wee wee” or “Down there” you are giving your child the great gift of comfort with sexuality. Kids catch on right away when parents are embarrassed about something. Take a deep breath if you have to, but use the right words. You can be honest and say, “When I was little, my mommy called this a ditty wa wa, but it’s real name is a vagina.” Be prepared for them to pass this information on to their grandparents! Just smile and say you are doing the best job you can.

It is at this stage that children start to touch themselves. They discover it feels good to touch their own genitals and may rub a book or a blanket against themselves. This is perfectly natural! Remember when we were growing up we were told that touching ourselves would cause blindness or that we would grow hair on our palms? The truth is no harm will come to your child and it will not diminish their ability to give or receive pleasure as an adult. It is your job, however, to explain that this is something to do in private, not in the cart at the grocery store!

Oh, and one more thing. If your toddler should happen to toddle in when you are making love, the first thing you should do is smile! Don’t scream as it will scare them and it is likely they are already concerned. Often a child will interpret what is going on as Mom being in pain or getting hurt. Reassure them you are all right, send them back to bed, and if they need an explanation you can say something like, “Sometimes grown-ups play differently than kids do. It is a private thing and we are both safe.”